Back in April I made a promise to my
underwhelming fan base of this blog that I would recap each race I
ran in this summer. It was going to help me keep writing throughout
the summer, and motivate me as I set personal goals in road races. It
seemed like a great idea. Instead, I got lazy. While my mind was in
the right place, I could never fully motivate myself to write. Now
it's almost August and I have yet to post anything here. I've had the
intention to write. I wanted to write about the emotional departure
of the Celtics Big Three, and Doc Rivers leaving. I even pondered the
idea of starting a novel. I'd have my computer ready to go with the
intention to write, but then my mind would scream at me to stop like
it does when you're on the third lap of a mile. I was too content on
binging on episodes of Parks and Recreation. While it's a spectacular
show, my productivity with this blog was not where I wanted it to be.
I had to go back and think about what motivated me to start this blog
in the first place. Which is running (and to live vicariously through
high school runners lives, but I digress).
Unlike the rest of my family, running
never came naturally to me. While I was always around the sport, I
never thought in a million years that I would succumb to what I
believed was a disgusting and morbid form of exercise. I played other
sports. I loved playing basketball (and still do), and I was a good
pitcher in baseball. People thought I would relish in football with
my broad frame, but I was never in my element when I did it. I was
too afraid of getting hurt. I was a naturally chubby kid throughout
my child hood. In gym class in the eight grade, our class did a one
mile time trial. I barely broke ten minutes running 9:59. I don't
remember the moment entirely, but I'd assume that I probably
collapsed on the infield of the track, gasping for air and on the
verge of puking, while my friends were laughing and stretching after
finishing several minutes earlier. I still think to this day that Mr.
Halligan was very generous with my time. The summer going into high
school, I made the decision to run cross country. Like I did with
this blog, I promised myself (and my dad) that I would run in the
summer.
I never did.
I came into my freshmen cross country
season with zero miles logged, and I was scared shitless. The runs
were a struggle, the workouts were a death march and the races were
out of body experiences. During these runs I would ask myself why I
was doing this. There has to be an easier alternative. But, despite
the tremendous pain I endured, there was a sense of satisfaction and
achievement the moment I crossed the finish line. It was almost as if
the feeling of euphoria overcame the feeling of pain.
I was slowly becoming a fan.
One of the hardest obstacles I had to
overcome in high school was being consistent. In the fall, I was
running five days a week for nearly three months. And for a person as
big as I was, I would lose fifteen to twenty pounds each season. But
once the season ended, I suddenly had no deadline or structure.
During the winter, I played basketball. While we would do sprints
every practice, I still had no base of running. I completely banished
the thought of it. It would get even worse in the spring when I
played baseball, and by the time school would end I would be back to
where I started. My father (who is my biggest supporter, and critic)
emphasized how important it was, specifically for me, to be
consistent with exercise. I would always reply with a half hearted “I
know, I know” and get back to playing MLB 06 The Show. It was at
that point where I asked myself if I wanted to change my body, or be
content with getting bigger. I didn't realize this in high school,
but it was important for me to understand I wasn't always going to
have structures. There will come a time in my life where I will be
responsible for myself. By my senior year of high school, I truly
started to enjoy the thought of running. In an effort to reduce my
mile time, I chose to participate in indoor track rather than play
basketball. It was a very difficult decision as I had played every
year until then, and my best friends were on the team. I came in with
a goal to run the mile under 6:30 (my best time at that point was
6:34). The first couple weeks of training were going great, and the
switch from basketball to track was already giving me a huge
confidence boost in my own fitness. In my first preseason meet, my
clumsiness was on full display as I fell handing off the baton in
both of my races (a rare Bonsey track record that I actually hold).
My second fall of the day resulted in me breaking my ankle. I missed
the entire year of track, while the basketball team only suffered one
loss and won the state championship.
Once I broke my ankle, I then
proceeded to gain more weight as my physical activity was incredibly
limited. It was very difficult being fat and out of shape, while I
was in the stands watching my friends with the state championship.
With college approaching, I feared being on my own. It was the first
time in my life where I would be responsible for everything. It was
during the summer going into my freshmen year of college where I
asked myself: Do I want to stay the same way, or do I want to train
my ass off and become the best athlete I can be? With that, I've
dedicated the past three years of my life to get into the best shape
I can possibly be. I went from a fat middle schooler who could barely
break ten minutes in a mile to averaging nine minutes a mile in a
half marathon. I went from running 7:37 in the mile my freshmen year,
to averaging that time in a 10k. I went from a kid who hated the
thought of running, to a man who peruses LetsRun.com on a daily basis
wondering what American Record will go down next.
My motivation in running has come from
various things. The success my family has achieved with the
sport has inspired me. The success of runners such as Ben True and
Matt McClintock, who have now put themselves into the discussion as
some of the best runners in America is inspiring. But more
importantly, my drive to better myself has kept me running. There are
days where your body wants you to stop, but the most important thing
to do at that time is to dig down and test your limits. I have chosen
to test my limits in running because I want to get better. In life,
we face difficult situations where our natural reaction is to duck
and hide, but the best thing to do is to face it and tough it out. .
With this blog, I have yet to test my limits. In a way, I have
compared my running in high school with my blog. I have a structure
in the fall and I'm doing great, but once the season ends, I'm forced
to come up with my own ideas and it's something that I've struggled
with. But with my experience in running, I will do my best to test my
limits in my writing and hopefully become the best writer I can
possibly be.
If you actually made it to this point of this point, I applaud you. Also, I'm raising money for The Opportunity Alliance. Your donation will help improve the community, and help me reach my goal as I hope to run Beach to Beacon! Thank you! The link is below:
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